INECTA

I’m about to take the pills

My heart is steeled and my mind set like a new windows sills

I do not care about the repercussions for the only sane thing to me is flushing this thing out and sinking into the cushion or the ocean.

Then I remember that night true

I remember putting my siblings to bedlike my mother used to

I remember putting on my silk gown and switching off the lights

Going to bed and drawing the blankets over my head for it was a cold night

Like every 15 year old, I began fantasizing about my future prince charming coming for me, my knight.

Then I felt his presence

His voice, a menace

I felt his heat and the heaviness of his breath

I felt the dimension of his width

I felt his weight too

I felt my strength weakening against his

The firmness.

I pushed

I strained

I screamed even though they were muffled

I bit

I cried

I struggled

Till I struggled no more.

I felt empty

I sunk into oblivion, oblivious and was sucked into this space, never to return

You may ask

“A penny for your thoughts?”

Well, I’ll tell you too

But,

My father is the father of my child

Mary j