Saying No to Rape beyond the Words

The problems in our society are quite appalling. Different problems everyday, it is quite disheartening to wake up to this awful news daily. From rape to racism and others. What's happening to the world?

Why do we train our women to be responsible and forget to train most of our men?
We live in a society where the woman is blamed for being raped. Rape is never the victims' fault because no body wants to be raped. We tell our women to dress well to avoid rape but it is not about the dressing. Modestly dressed people get raped, babies are raped and we blame it on the dressing of the woman. We have freedom to dress in the way we like but then we become scared.


We live in a society where we let innocent women be raped, get blamed and die of depression or sometimes even get killed by the rapist while the rapists roam the street like innocent people. Most women who get raped can't even speak up because of the fear of been condemned by the society. It's true that men also get raped but the cases of male rape is very low compared to that of women.


We need to be bold and speak up. We are the change we want to see in the world.

7 Ways to End Violence Against Women

 

Violence against women and girls is one of the most widespread violations of human rights. It further intensified during the Covid19 with  increasingly alarming rate of sexual violence during the lockdown and curfews.  It was further tagged as the "Shadow Pandemic" ravaging the world amidst the Covid 19 health crises by United Nations Women Executive Director 

Global estimates published by WHO indicate that about 1 in 3 (35%) of women worldwide have experienced either physical and/or sexual intimate partner violence or non-partner sexual violence in their lifetime.  Yet to date, only two out of three countries have outlawed domestic violence, while 37 countries worldwide still exempt rape perpetrators from prosecution if they are married to or eventually marry the victim. Furthermore, 49 countries currently have no laws protecting women from domestic violence.

This year marks the 25th Anniversary of the Beijing Declaration and Platform for Action, the most visionary agenda for advancing women’s rights everywhere, of which Nigeria is a signatory. The COVID-19 pandemic has dampened what should have been a year of reflection on the progress made and strategising on concrete actions to address urgent issues such as gender-based violence. 

Here are just 5 ways we all  can make a difference, safely and impactfully in ending Gender Based Violence.

1. Start Conversations to end the Silence Culture

Violence against women and girls is a human rights violation that’s been perpetuated for decades. It’s pervasive, but it’s not inevitable, unless we stay silent. Igniting the fire is a step in awareness.

 

2. Always take a Stand against rape culture

Rape culture is the social environment that allows sexual violence to be normalized and justified, fueled by the persistent gender inequalities and attitudes about gender and sexuality. Naming it is the first step to dismantling rape culture.

Every day we have the opportunity to examine our behaviours and beliefs for biases that permit rape culture to continue. Examining our various definition of masculinity and femininity, and how our own biases and stereotypes influences our decision. Collectively, we can all take action to stand against rape culture.

3) Listening to and believing survivors

When women share  their story of violence, they take the first step to breaking the cycle of abuse.

It’s on all of us to give the safe space for women's  needs to speak up and be heard.I t’s important to remember that when discussing cases of sexual violence, a victim’s sobriety, clothes, and sexuality are irrelevant.The perpetrator is the sole reason for assault and must bear the responsibility alone. Calling out victim-blaming and countering the idea that it’s on women to avoid situations that might be seen as “dangerous” by traditional standards.

Survivors of violence are speaking out more than ever before, and everyone has a role to play to ensure they can have justice.

4)  Understanding consent

Freely given, enthusiastic consent is mandatory, every time. Teaching people that rather than listening for a “no,” make sure there is an active “yes,” from all involved. Adopting enthusiastic consent in our various life and talking about it.

Phrases like “she was asking for it” or “boys will be boys” attempt to blur the lines around sexual consent, placing blame on victims, and excusing perpetrators from the crimes they have committed.

5. Shame Perpetrators

Women most times suffers from victim blaming, society shaming and talking point after experiencing violence. In our society today, we talk about how many women were raped like statistics not how many men rape women. We talk about how women can protect themselves from rape not how men should stop raping women.We call men who rape or harm women DOGS but dogs don't harm/rape. We must ensure that perpetrators of violence against women are shamed and ridiculed collectively while justice is duly served to the victim.

Conclusion

Conclusively, the effects of the COVID-19 pandemic threaten any progress that has been made in tackling gender-based violence. Nigeria must ensure that its recovery from the pandemic promotes a more gender inclusive society, where women and girls’ rights are protected and their opportunities promoted, so that the progress made in the last 25 years was not in vain. Ending violence against women is everyone’s business and you have a role to play.

Each for Equal: Celebrating International Women's Day

By Adigun Taofeekat.

International women’s day!! The time to  celebrate women, their unflinching tenacity with impacts and achievements accrued despite gender inequality. It also serves as a  reminder for how far we have come in the struggle for gender equality, an outlook of the present happenings to women in relation to gender gap and a clarion call for what’s more to come in actively achieving gender equality.

Equality is not a women issue; It’s a business and world issue. In 2015, the world leaders agreed on a policy changing move with legislation adopted to proactively advance gender equality and eliminating all forms of violence and discrimination against women with sustainable development (SDG) goal 5 achievable by year 2030.

The apparent and unanswered question remains “Is any country on track in fully achieving gender equality by year 2030, invariably 10 years from now, considering current trends"?  One in 3 women globally experience physical or sexual violence during their lifetime, child marriage is still thriving with stifling discrimination against women. There are still staggering 72 countries in the world where women are barred from opening bank account according to a survey by  gender gap report.

Gender norms are quite poor even in country with best records for gender equality globally, typically far worse in developing countries with stringent and stifling gender norms and belief.  The sobering and disheartening fact of Global Gender Gap Report 2020 edition based on current trends reveals that overall global gender gap will not be closed for nearly a century and gender parity may not be attained for 99 years.


The women, peace and security index survey 2019 analyzed the dangerous countries to live as a female. Topping the list is South Africa, Brazil, Russia, India, Syria and Nigeria  all ranking high in oppressive gender norms, global gender imbalance, homicidal rates, sexual and physical violence on women, and discrimination. In Nigeria, there are passed laws criminalizing child marriage, female genital mutilation and gender based violence, yet these crimes are being perpetuated and constantly thriving.

Despite these gloom and doom tales, there are groundbreaking records and achievement made in the struggle for gender equality. We need more conscious effort to douse gender gaps in terms of economic opportunity, educational attainment, health and survival and political empowerment.

Collectively, we are all part of a whole. Our individual actions, conversations, thoughts, behavior, mindset, and dispositions have a huge impact on the society collectively. Together, we can help create a gender balanced world. Through collective action and shared responsibility, we can shape our thoughts, redefine our thinking, unlearn and relearn negativity. We can actively choose to challenge stereotypes, fight bias, broaden perceptions, improve situations, celebrate women achievement and speak out on discrimination against women.  The changes we seek requires action and participation from each and everyone of us.

We have come a long way in the struggle for gender equality journey but there are still many hurdles to cross. We must look outside workplace, beyond laws and policies and address the cause of gender imbalance gap from its underlying root. Focus on where and how discrimination and stereotyping breeds from. It is up to each of us, each for equal and collection action in ensuring a more better, equal and gender balanced future.