Koye-Ladele Mofehintoluwa: Brisket Bone, Buhari and Bourdillion

"If you give them your heart, they will want your soul. That is why those of us who do not think twice about them must always be right"- Bola Ige

The Nigerian internet space was recently pervaded with a viral broadcast. Of course, it is fast becoming usual for sensations to take over real news in the Nigerian scene. A lot of theorists have even suggested that these distractions are sponsored. For instance, it could be the case that a major determining policy of some sort has been set up. Nigerian internet space is in the midst of a hot argument on the policy. The government is beginning to feel the pressure of public opinion. Suddenly, everything fizzles away when the attention diverts to a controversy between Wizkid and Davido. Thus, in a matter of moments, the attention has been shifted and the policy discussion becomes an issue for the past.

Last week, someone must have felt the "Eureka" sensation and ran into the market naked to proclaim "Eureka!". This person attempts to trace have proven abortive suggested that the "biscuity" part of meat that we chew enjoyed best when the meat is fried and popularly tagged "biscuit bone" is incorrect but rather it is brisket bone. In a country where most of us are willing to imitate the foreign concepts and even diction without understanding them, a large number of us began to correct ourselves without trying to confirm if we were wrong. Brisket bone for three days won the hearts of the struggling-hard-to-speak-phonetics category of Nigerians.

Shortly after, it became the case that someone did Nigerians the favour of a research and came back to say brisket bones are found in the chest of an animal around the ribs and they are not what we coined the term "biscuit bone" in reference to. In a short time again, the quiet ones among us who did not take a position on if it was biscuit or brisket bone came out to mock those who did call it "brisket bones".

For a long time now, I have argued that until Africans understand their uniqueness and do not care for their local diction to affect their phonation as part of their pride. We will continue living a lie. African consciousness entails in totality a pride of who you are and what you are.

These youths who have decided to "brisket bones" are either uninterested or distracted from the fact that for more than two months, the President of the Federal Republic of Nigeria has been away. While theoretically, we are made to believe his absence creates no vacuum, some of us know better that the politics at work is holding the government to ransom. Aisha Buhari herself would take to Twitter and describe as "hyenas and jackals who want to reign in the absence of the Lion King".

Whispers convey the news that the President has cancer. Some louder whispers convey the news that he has become totally deaf. The true state of the President is being hidden effectively from those he governs. Welcome to Nigeria! This is one of our inventions. We create public servants that are isolated from those they lead till their tenure ends.

While the President was away, a serving Senator died and interestingly, a bye-election was conducted for his office. In typical Nigerian style, the replacement was a reward. Most political offices are held by people being rewarded for either party loyalty (which can also be the equivalent thuggery, violence and contribution of illegally sourced funds), being the next in line(yes. Even though we don't have a royalty. There's a queue on the way to power. Elections are just to determine who is really next in line) and also other criteria with the exception of capability.

The bye-election in Osun returned the brother of the deceased Senator. The Senator in question emerged from the opposition party. Despite federal might, regional might and power of incumbency, the APC could not return a candidate and the slot went out to the other party. This is interesting.

Bourdillion has been quiet. What is the man in Bourdillion up to? Is he scheming to put his man there or will be go there himself come 2019? What was the position of Bourdillion on the Osun senatorial bye-election? Has Bourdillion begun to lose political relevance in Nigerian politics? Is Bourdillion in good health himself as whispers also suggest he is ill?

Is the outcome of the bye-election a sign of things to come? Are the Osun masses simply dissatisfied with Aregbesola and are sending a message that they don't want his governance? Was the bye-election a protest vote? Were the votes bought? Was the outcome to reward the deceased?

The best analyst of political trends cannot in Nigeria come up with a satisfactory explanation for political occurrences. The influx of methods and processes outside the book has made obscure what really decides choices of the masses in Nigeria. The question is if the masses even choose! Our democracy is so complex that another name other than democracy should be coined for it.

As the politics in Nigeria continues to heat, the axe continues to wave in the air. Where will it land? On who will it fall?

Who is the anointed one for the 2019 elections?