How to Overcome Sexual Addictions

Sex addiction, or hypersexual disorder (HD), means you repeatedly participate in sexual activity that causes detrimental effects to your relationships, job, and/or self-esteem. Some people are more susceptible to sex additions. Particularly, patients who have coped with mood disorders, a history of physical or sexual abuse, alcoholism, or drug abuse are more likely to develop sex addictions. Although controversial among mental health professionals, the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders does not regard hypersexual Disorder or sex addiction as an addiction or mental disorder. Nevertheless, to combat an addiction, first determine whether you have a problem. Then examine options for treatment and personal change to help you recover.

1. Determine whether you have an addiction. A sex addiction is not the same as having a vigorous sex drive. You might have a sexual addiction if you exhibit persistent, escalating patterns of sexual behavior despite increasing negative consequences for yourself and others. The high that you feel from sex occupies your mind constantly. You always are looking for your next chance to feel that pleasure. Examples include persons who spend half their income on prostitutes or business people who watch pornography at work despite warnings that they will lose their jobs. This preoccupation with sex leaves less room in your life for healthy relationships and other interests. Anyone can have a sex addiction, no matter his/her gender, sexuality, or relationship status. The following signs indicate a possible sex addiction:
Seeking extramarital affairs
Using compulsive sexual behavior as an escape from loneliness, depression, anxiety or stress
Thinking about sex to the exclusion of other interests and occupations
Using pornography excessively
Masturbating frequently, especially in inappropriate situations such as while at work
Having sex with prostitutes
Sexually harassing other people
Having unprotected sex with strangers that could lead to sexually transmitted diseases (STD)s. If you are unsure whether you have an STD, get tested right away. If you are in a relationship, your partner should get tested as well

2. Decide whether you need professional help. For some people with hypersexual disorder or a sex addiction, they can treat their condition on their own through lifestyle changes. Ask yourself: can you manage your sexual impulses? Are you distressed by your sexual behaviors? Is your sexual behavior harming your relationships and work life, or leading to negative consequences like arrest? Do you try to hide your sexual behavior? If you feel your condition is leading to negative consequences, seek help.
Risky sexual behavior is a hallmark of Borderline Personality Disorder, which the DSM-5 recognizes, and is treatable through therapy and sometimes medication.
Get help immediately if you might harm yourself or others, have bipolar disorder, or are suicidal.

3. Find a qualified mental health provider or therapist. Ask your family practitioner for a recommendation of someone who specializes in sex addiction. Psychologists, psychiatrists, marriage and family therapists, or licensed clinical social workers are all potential options. It is preferable to find someone who has experience helping people work through sex addiction. Hyper-sexual behavior can appear similar to behavior associated with impulse-control or substance-use disorders. Still, it is unclear whether the brain operates the same way with hypersexual disorder as it does with substance addiction.Thus, rather than finding someone who works on substance addiction, look for a specialist on hypersexual disorder.
If you are in a committed partnership, marriage and family therapists can help both you and your partner.

4. Discuss treatment plans with your therapist. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is an effective treatment method. CBT is a short-term, goal-oriented psychotherapy treatment, which utilizes a hands-on, practical approach to problem-solving. In CBT, you work with your therapist to change patterns of thinking or behavior with the goal of changing the way you feel. Your therapist might also prescribe medication. Your therapist might prescribe anti-androgens, mood stabilizers, or another drug.
An experienced therapist can help you handle the intricacies of your situation. As societal acceptance of sexual addictions varies, your therapist can help you navigate your relationships and overcome any shame you might feel.

5. Seek support from loved ones. Quitting a sex addiction can be a lonely endeavor. Even though your previous sexual activity might have lacked an emotional connection, you might miss the physical closeness. Spending time with loved ones will help you remember why you are quitting and commit to stop.
You might have loved ones who do not understand sex addiction or who are angry with you for your past behavior. These feelings are normal. Try to find a few people who can understand your struggle and help you be successful. Do not spend too much time with critical people.

Afro-European Parliamentary System

Man ordinarily and by nature is a political animal or an outcast like "a bird which flies alone according to Aristotle in the 4th BC in his book : "Politics" Book 1. Thomas Hobbes further clarifies that interaction between man in the state of nature is predicated on the survival of the fittest in that the strong oppress the weak. This is as a result of the absolute freedom enjoyed by man which has no limit. Not until an agreement is reached where every person in the society relinquish some or all of their rights for the common good that a representative government should emerge from this barbaric and natural state. However, a typical model of representative government emerge from this ruins of the stone age and state of nature characterized by nasty, brutish and short. This era eclipsed the brutal relics left behind.

Direct democracy can be traced to Athens where all men of the society gather at a particular place to deliberate on issues of the city-state as they surface and pass lasting resolutions on different occasions. The European continent has largely influenced the African civilization in myriad of ways and most importantly one of its enviable bequest or legacy was democracy which favors adequate  representation of the interest of the people in the legislature or parliament. It is quite important at this point to clearly say that this discourse or essay shall purposefully be based on  the parliament or an exposition on the parliament in relation to European and African ideals. It is actually not true to say that the European forced upon the Africans the Democratic values but in the same vein it is also correct for at one time or the other there exist in the African society a traditional form of democracy though not in line totally with the modern democratic values as operated by Some European countries and also the USA. However, it must be carefully said that it is indeed a bequest well received from the Europeans. The truth in the real sense is that we inherited the modern democratic values from the Europeans and the region known as the USA when Africa was subjected to colonialism. It is noteworthy at this point that democracy whether under  presidential or parliamentary dispensation and under the unitary or federal regime is a guarantee for adequate, if not totally true, representation of government. The whole essence of the parliament is defeated if the parliament fails in its traditional functions which are oversight, representation and legislation.

The whole essence of Parliament emerge as stated earlier when the people decided put in place certain laws to govern their affairs. Thus, the importance of man-made laws and the institution created by such laws and with such powers to legislate or better still, make laws vested on this institution. This institution that makes law is called the legislature or  parliament. The variations in terminology is irrelevant and the differences manifest from region to region as exemplified as Senate and Chambers of Deputies in Italy, Senate and House of Representatives in Nigeria, Federation council and State  Duma in Russia, National People's Congress in China, Senate and National Assembly in France, Bundesrat and Bundestag in Germany. Save China, they all practiced a bicameral legislature where we have the upper house and lower house respectively. As of October 2015, somewhat less than half of the world's national legislatures are bicameral according to  "Inter-Parliamentary Union database: Structure of parliaments"(www.ipu.org).

A bicameral legislature operates where  the legislators are divided into two separate assemblies, chambers or houses. Bicameralism is different from unicameralism where all of the members deliberate and vote as a single group. The two houses in bicameral legislature deliberate on bills differently and in the end as a single unit pass it into law. Often, the mode of election or selection of members into this houses vary from country to country employing differing criterion. For instance, in the USA, selection  into the Senate and Congress is by election where persons cast vote for their respective representative at such level. This is actually the same with Nigeria where the mode of appointment of legislators into the federal legislature is by election. The provision of the Nigerian Constitution clearly set out the mode of election where each states shall be divided by the Independent National Electoral Commission into three constituencies for election into the Senate while the agency named above shall divide the whole of the federation into 360 constituencies for election into the House of Representatives by virtue of section 72, 1999 constitution.

It is in fact no doubt that the most powerful organ of government is the parliament. The parliament would always remain the voice of the people as all the legislators represent every person from each division of the country and they are very much accountable. It must be pointed out that it is the law made by this organ that guides the operation of a country and this lawmaking power should not however rubbish the fact that the parliament itself is a creation of the law and that the law vested in it its powers. Thus, its actions should be at any level of legislative processes be according to the spirit of the law. It also check the excesses of the executive by refusing to pass a self centered bill that is not in the interest of the majority of the people  and also serve as a watchdog on the executive in the course of the discharge of duties particularly in the case of the appropriation bill.

There is a very wide and great distance between the integrity of the  African Parliamentarians and European Parliamentarians. It has been successfully evidenced by various statistics in the past that African legislators are very corrupt very greedy and stinkingly avaricious. However, this does not paint as saints some European legislators but the high handedness, flamboyant lifestyle and  avaricious nature of the majority of African Legislators put a great blemish on the integrity of this institution on the African soil. According to the President of the Inter-Parliamentary Union, Abdelwahad Radi, who said carefully that: "It is clear that casting a ballot every few years is no longer enough for an electorate. It wants more democratic engagement between it and the political institution it elects." Good governance also relies most importantly if not totally on the legislative institutions in the discharge of their allocated duties. This is the reason why the best governments in the world have the best parliament. According to the Legatum Institute Index Report in September, 2016, Switzerland has the best government followed closely by New Zealand, ...,Canada and, ...United Kingdom and, ...also The USA is on the 11th on the list. It is clear that no African Country is on the first 25 list at all in the world.

Also, a joint report from the Inter-Parliamentary Union and United Nations Development Program in Geneva/Kampala on the 22nd April, 2010 has it that — Parliaments today are facing greater public scrutiny and pressure than ever before with fundamental questions on their ability to hold governments to account, but they have never been more essential to the political life of a country.

The first Global Parliamentary Report addresses certain problems faced by contemporary parliaments when it examined "the Changing Nature of Parliament" and thus proffer rough but not totally perfect solutions when it argues that parliaments must stay closely attuned to public needs and expectations of the institution and ensure sustained and strategic efforts are made to meet them if they are to help address the very low-levels of trust they currently hold." It is very much apposite to point out that apart from legislators being very corrupt, the pressures they faced from the people is so great like never before in this contemporary time. African Parliament are very many among the most corrupt parliament in the world who have dropped the culture of democracy and forgotten their aims in safeguarding and protection of the interest of the people who they represent.

There are so many challenges facing the contemporary parliaments which was highlighted in the paper presentation at the conference held in June 16, 2016 by the (IPU) Inter-Parliamentary Union where the challenges include: The inability of contemporary legislature to imbibe the culture of democracy, the tussle of unequal power relation between the Executive and the Parliament, Lack of parliamentary reforms, the composition of the Parliament, Public Pressures and Public inter alia. But the IPU state clearly that building a strong parliament lies in the resilience and responsiveness of such parliament to the needs of the people.

To round off this article, I must admonish the great Nigerian nation of many diversities of over 250 ethnic groups and over 400 languages which comprise majority and minority groups. The country has succeeded over the years to safeguard and protect the Interest of these minority groups to some extent and prevent eventual domination of the minority groups by the majority groups. This has been sustained for many years through the institution of the parliament. The Nigerian nation have had 7 Assemblies of legislators where the current Assembly of Senate President Bukola Saraki is the 8th Assembly. The Nigerian Constitution had been altered by all the Assemblies of legislators Nigeria have had just three times compared to the 27 amendments out 33 proposed amendments in which the USA constitution had undergone.

This setback after 57 years of independence is brought about by the issue of diversity and the legislators themselves who have failed woefully in their primary duties. Until all legislators realized their functions according to the oath of office in which they have sworn, we would still not move forward in terms of making responsive laws to the needs of the people. And also, the personality of legislators we are electing to represent our interest must be put into critical concern. We should stop electing intellectually derailed persons and traders of grammars into the parliament. Legislators no longer give returns to their people regards their duty in the parliament but we should consider what such person we are electing is going to represent and ensure through adequate criticism that he ensures he achieve this aims and he must from time to time return to his constituency and give his people returns from the house.

Finally, good governance is very important and very vital to the life of a nation in order to improve the standard of living of the people. This is aggregated from the needs of the people through the parliament. The aims and objectives of every government is to protect the life, safeguard the property and promote the welfare of the people. It is very paramount and thus, parliament must strive that such needs is met and not deviate from their primary duties.

Written by:

Yemi LA_Poet
YUSUF-AMUDA Lateef Adeyemi
Faculty of Law, OAU, Ile Ife.
January 3, 2017.
07086836478.

Opinion: Nigeria- A Fulfilment of What?

If you are scared of the truth, turning back at this point may be the best thing to do. In reality, the truth is a bastard while the Lie has a father.

Growing up many years ago, I remember my home lesson teacher's assignment. The home lesson itself was a punishment, much more the assignment. This home lesson came not because I was "unbrilliant" but because I was practically stubborn
This day, my aunt had me write in my lesson note:
"Write an essay on the topic: Nigeria, an empty giant of Africa."

 

This was a strong and wide topic for a boy of ten years- I was about rounding off my primary school education. Obviously, I barely knew about life in my family, much more Nigeria save for the fact that things have changed in comparison to now- living conditions and standards.

Till today, that topic rings a bell. I choose to remember that there was anomie in the Nigerian state back then. Now, it's worse.

At a point, I felt nothing could be done to change things. This was not because of pessimism- I've always been optimistic as relates to Nigeria.

Now, thanks to change. I see something making that proposition in my lesson note invalid, thanks to the present administration. However, I believe that her campaign slogan was too wide... Change is nice, change is wanted but change is gradual...

Shout out to PMN. He is a wise man, going after the principle of "tell them what they want to hear."
However, I choose to utter: "Cursed be anyone who lies to the masses in the want of Votes"
and
"Cursed be anyone who for the taste of pottage, sells his birthright"

This piece is coming at this point in time because everywhere near me, an election would take place- My Faculty, my department, my University, my state and Nigeria as a whole. Let Nigerians make open their stand, don't be gullible, yet be wise.

In the words of my Father:
"Go to the ants, consider their ways and be wise".

"This piece seeks to address salient issues as concerns politics. However, any resemblance in the nominal is not purposeful."

WE ARE THOUSANDS, AND YET YOU TREAT US THUS

We are Thousands, and yet you treat us thus

If one is to attempt a fair appraisal of the struggle against imperialism and political high-handness evident in the recent occurrences in our union, I know for a fact that the fierce perorations of Daniel O'Connell in 1883 when he was addressing the House of Commons on the ugly realities of the Irish Disturbances Act must be a reference point.

Mr O'Connell was at the peak of his emotional erudition when on the floor of that hallowed chamber, he quipped on behalf of the Irishmen "We are eight millions, and yet you treat us thus".

I cannot resist the temptation to direct a paraphrase of that 'O'Connellic' conclusion to the office of the President, 'The Rebranded Great Ife Student Union' I say, "Mr President, We are in our thousands, and yet you treat us thus"

Well, persons of pristine moral persuasion have stood their ground and they have related sordid accounts of the tragicomedy that punctuates our Union's diary.

Hon Koye-Ladele of the "Black and White" Faculty registered his  eyewitness accounts of recent happenings in our Union in his "Let's talk about the Doctor and his Doctored Congress"
Similarly, Comrade O'Zik, also of the 'white and black' orientation submitted with panache that the "President Presides, the Speaker Speaks". Again, Kazeem Olalekan Israel of the Judicial Council concluded among other things, that the Congress held on the 8th day of June, 2017 was nothing but a doctored arrangement!. Many more have written and are still writing.

These men and women wrote with passion and common sense in  time  when men are suffering from the starvation of these iconic virtues.

These brings me to a Mark-Twain type of ironic dillemma, without prejudice to medical nor doctoral students and also with no malicious intents to all persons bearing Omole, either as a Surname or name, I'm inclined to submit that Doctor and Omole are arguably the most dangerous lexicon in the dictionary of our Union. Is it just sheer coincidence that the 'Omole' of yesterday and the Omole of "this day (newspaper.. Lool) have no respect whatsoever for fundamental human rights, constitutionalism, due process and every other thing incidental to progress and decorum?

Well, I believe it's sheer coincidence but again, they say coincidences are God's way of remaining anonymous.

Testimonies abound from those who have had close contact with the presidency stating among other things that the Omole Dr will rather disregard the express provisions of the constitution.

Some informed colleagues are of the opinion that on a scale of preference, the political machine of the president comes before the attainment of parliamentary resolutions. I laughed when I heard that our Doctor will not release the keys to  union committee rooms in order for the various committees to kick start their statutory duties because the doctor holds the opinion that the committees were partially . What sort of political insecurity is that?

In fact, I heard the Doctor or (Dictator...synonyms?) obstructed the peaceful bonfire party organized by Angola hall excos. The presidential obstructionism was said to have been punctuated with Kodlinye and Aluko type of battery and assault. It makes me laugh and wonder, what sort of rebranding is this one tori olohun ehn? Kangaroo Congress? Inside Ramadan? Well, maybe the doc-dictator has forgotten that men die and if their death happens to be questionable, a coroner's inquest becomes unavoidable, that is, an autopsy will have to be conducted by Doctors! Doctors in every sense of the word not some phoney Doc-dictators.

May the doctors in the Student Representative Council wake up to this important duty and conduct a long overdue autopsy on the Presidency.

And again Mr President, I hope you know what John Wilkes Booth shouted after he assassinated Abe Lincoln, he said "Sic Semper Tyrannis--thus always to tyrants!"

Too bad you don't even have  'Lincolnic' antecedents.
It's not too late Sir.

Wole Zangani
Faculty of Law
10-6-17

What young lawyers need to survive’

‘What young lawyers need to survive’

Chief Arthur Obi Okafor (SAN) has urged the Nigerian Bar Association to develop a policy framework that will improve young lawyers’ welfare and equip them to compete.
Okafor said every effort to improve and develop the legal profession must be synchronised with efforts to increase opportunities for young lawyers.
He spoke on ‘Young lawyers in legal practice: Venturing beyond usual borders’, at the maiden edition of the NBA Young Lawyers’ Forum, Calabar branch, penultimate week Tuesday.
Okafor said: “In recent times, the main problem of young lawyers in Nigeria has been locating opportunities for employment.
“This in itself is not the only problem, but from time to time we need to pause and examine the efforts, means and methods by which young lawyers can engage in expanding the frontiers of legal practice, appraise their successes, challenges and failures and adapt positively especially in line with the professional circumstances and realities in Nigeria and the world today.”
He identified the challenges facing the young lawyer playing across borders to include demand for specialisation.
Okafor said: “There is increased demand for specialisations in areas of practice in the global legal services sector that requires multidisciplinary skills, for instance a decent knowledge of accounting and finance in order to have a basic understanding of corporate governance issues etc.
“Law is increasingly becoming multidisciplinary in nature as a lawyer is now required to understand many socio-political issues, and happenings in other areas such as oil and gas, capital market etc.
“This is the effect of globalisation on legal practice. The reality is therefore that a lawyer should continuously pursue skills in related fields to remain relevant and employable in today’s rather overpopulated legal landscape.”
On the impact of Information and Communication Technology (ICT) on the young lawyer, he noted that knowledge and proficiency in ICT is a mandatory requirement in the 21st century legal marketplace.
He said: “Clients often communicate through ICT systems and Lawyers must be in a position to access and have proficiency in utilization of ICT facilities. These include video conferencing, advanced document formats for sensitive documents etc.
“A Nigerian lawyer and indeed any lawyer anywhere in the world must therefore be abreast of latest developments in ICT as it is a requirement for effective use of ICT systems and devices.”
Okafor observed that the rules of professional conduct also affect the performance of the young lawyer. He said: “Every lawyer no matter how brilliant and smart must at all times bear in mind the strict rules of professional conduct for Nigerian lawyers and lawyers everywhere.
“A high regard for ethical standards and rules of professional conduct is an absolute necessity for success in the legal profession. The legal profession places a high premium on integrity, honesty, decency, dedication and discipline all over the world. A successful lawyer must always represent the high moral values and discipline which distinguishes lawyers in the society.
“A lawyer should act within the prescriptions of the Rules of Professional Conduct. It can never be over-emphasized that without integrity, no lawyer can succeed in the long run. Practicing across borders may throw-up ethical issues. All lawyers should be careful not to breach rules of professional conduct in discharging legal duties.”
He advised young lawyers to deliver solutions before making demands, as “the best way to make yourself valuable is to solve problems and find innovative solutions to legal problems that you encounter in your chosen area of practice.
“Instead of complaining, motivate yourself and constantly think of ways to solve problems. This adds value and helps you in the long run.”
The silk urged young lawyers to try and specialise in different areas of law.
He said: “A lawyer is a better asset to himself and society if he can demonstrate excellent skills in a niche within the profession. It makes you significantly more valuable and gives you potential to attract more clients. If you are known as a specialist in a particular area, for instance; medical negligence cases, your value will greatly increase.
“Take your employer’s office as your own: any aspect of legal practice is a “business enterprise”, a young lawyer must become part of the “business” and relate properly with the employer and clients. This is important in building a career and a reputation. Without owning the business and treating the “business” and clients’ right, it will be difficult to build a reputation and develop in your chosen area of practice.”

Source: The Nation

We May Be Pushed To Invade Niger — US Tells Coup plotters

The United States of America has warned the Niger junta that America may be pushed to be involved militarily if the country’s military rulers do not return to constitutional order.

US Troops

The US acting Deputy Secretary, Victoria Nuland, in a special briefing on Niger disclosed this via a teleconference on Tuesday.

She noted, “…There is still a lot of motion here on many sides with regard to where the governance situation will go.

“So we will be watching that closely and there are a number of regional meetings coming up and consultations with allies and partners that we need to make.

“So we’ll be watching the situation, but we understand our legal responsibilities and I explained those very clearly to the guys (Niger junta) who were responsible for this and that it is not our desire to go there, but they may push us to that point, and we asked them to be prudent in that regard and to hear our offer to try to work with them to solve this diplomatically and return to constitutional order.”

A ONE-SIDED HEADACHE

People often complain of headache, headache is a child of many parents, it could be a symptom of many things, and it could result from stress. A major characteristic of migraine headache is a pain at just one side of the head.

What is Migraine headache about?

Migraine headache is a disorder characterized by pains on either one or both sides of the head lasting from 48 to 72 hours. Migraine headache could be accompanied with an aura. Physical activities worsen the pain. An individual experiencing migraine headache often seeks for a quiet and dark room.

What causes Migraine Headache?
Migraine headache is often due to some physiological changes in the brain or an irregularities in the blood vessels and nerves. It is majorly caused by environmental and genetic factors. However, the main cause of migraine headache is not fully known. Migraine headaches sometimes are triggered by some factors which may include tiredness, smoking, alcohol, hunger, inadequate sleep, onset of menstrual period, stress and certain foods and drinks. It is more common among females after puberty and its chances decrease during pregnancy.

What are the symptoms of Migraine Headache?

Some individuals get a warning symptom prior to the headache or even after the headache. Symptoms prior to the onset of the headache include altered mood, neck pains, sensitivity to light, smell or noise, constipation or diarrhoea, craving for somekinds of food. The headache is often accompanied with nausea, mood swing and irritability, sensitivity to light and sound.

How is Migraine headache diagnosed?
It is often required to note some important factors such as the onset, the triggers, duration of pain. Most diagnosis are based on signs and symptoms. According to the International Headache Society, diagnosis of migraine headache can be made using the ‘5,4,3,2,1 criteria’ which represents 5 or more attacks
4 hours to 3 days in duration
At least 2 days of unilateral location, pulsating
At least 1 additional symptom such as sensitivity to light, nausea and vomiting

What are the factors that increase the risk of migraines?
FAMILY HISTORY
Migraine headache can been traced to a family history. About 90% of individuals suffering from migraine have a family history of migraines, with both parents being a better marker. GENDER Migraine headache is common among males before puberty and common among females after puberty. Its chances decrease as a woman goes into menopause.
AGE
According to Mayo Clinic, Migraine headache usually improves after age 30.

TYPES OF MIGRAINE

Migraine with aura
This involves migraine headache accompanied with aura, a subjective sensation experienced before the attack. This often serves as a warning preceding the headache.This happens to about 16-30% of migraine patients. The symptoms include flashing of light, blind spots, having difficulty in speaking, stiffness in the shoulder or neck.

Migraine without aura
This is by far the most common type with no usual warning preceding the headache. However, some individuals may experience aura without having the headache.

How is migraine headache managed?

It is often better to engage in preventive mechanism other than its correction. Several drugs have been administered in the management of migraine headache. Pain killers such as paracetamol and ibuprofen can be used for severe migraine headaches, other analgesics such as aspirin with caffeine can also help to stop the headache. Antiemetic drugs can be used to control symptoms such as nausea and vomiting. Antidepressants are also administered to reduce migraine symptoms. Other classes of drugs used in the management of migraine headache include the ergotamines and triptans. However, frequent use of drugs may lead to severe and more frequent headache.

What are the preventive measures to be taken?

One of the heathiest ways of preventing illness is a healthy lifestyle. Other preventive measures include medications, nutritional supplements, and surgery. It is practically impossible to eliminate headache totally but the main aim is to reduce its frequency, duration and pain. Healthy lifestyles are but not limited to regular exercise, adequate drinking of water, sufficient sleep, avoid smoking and drinking of alcohol. Medications often use in the prevention of migraine headache include propranolol, metoprolol, gabapentin and pregabalin.


Emi ni akowe